Let’s take a step back for a second and address yet again the nagging, annoying, irritating word that keeps cropping up when it comes to the men of The Hunger Games— hotties (we’re lookin’ at you E! Online! Don’t you look away, we see you painting your nails over there!). There we said it, and we have actually said it in real life about many a person, usually people of the opposite sex if you must know, we may have possibly even said it about Liam Hemsworth, Josh Hutcherson, Lenny Kravitz, and yes dare we admit it– Alexander Ludwig. What, the guy’s a bona fide Abercrombie model? That’s never a bad thing, unless you’re shopping with one of our mothers who seriously thinks their advertisements are just a shade away from pornography (oh, mommy, if you only knew what real porn looked like). Although today, today of days, we’re not going to focus on the men of The Hunger Games that have graced those glossy magazine covers, and shiny shiny gossip blogs. Today the focus is on the other men of The Hunger Games, the ones who have been eligible to vote in their respective countries for longer than say– 2 years (Kravitz is exempt, he’s almost 50, don’t tell him that though. And we don’t mean he can’t vote, he so can vote!). Friends, today it’s about the men behind the scenes, two of them actually, because the list’s actually pretty long, so it’ll be brought to you in installments for your reading pleasure, also viewing ‘cause there’s pictures, or shall we call them visual aids?
Now, we could go in an order starting with the men with most noteworthy careers, or we could be totally petty and shallow and go straight for the meat and potatoes of the issue at hand– the hot ones, and trust us there are hot ones working their magic behind the scenes on this very very anticipated film. Okay okay, hot ones if you have an open mind, and get that people over the age of 35 can be just as attractive as a 21 year-old Australian guy whose favourite past time is surfing, or that one 19 year-old with the abs of amazingness, whose visage is gracing shopping bags that make our mothers nervous. Fine, let’s go from least attractive to most, it’s only fitting!
That there to the right of Mr. Eastwood (anybody else flash on Lea Thompson in Back to the Future Part Three saying that name in her faux Irish accent, when they see the name Mr. Eastwood?), is Mr. Tom Stern. Stern’s all right to look at, we could even venture to call him a Silver Fox, but we’re not quite there yet. Stern, he may not be worthy of a double take, but if we were over the age of 45, we’d possibly find him to be a very acceptable dinner companion, and considering he’s 65 years-old that could mean he may know how to dance, as many of the baby boomer generation seem to magically have that ability. He may very well have also seen the Beatles perform live in his life, and we mean all of them, and that’s pretty cool by many peoples standards. Let’s see, he’s also got all his hair which is a major plus if you’re into that sort of thing. However, his most attractive quality has got to be addressed, he’s had an amazing career so far as a cinematographer and been on the photography and electrical staffs of several films of note, including some of the best films of the last three decades. Starting with the academy award winning American Beauty, then onto Mystic River, Road to Perdition, Million Dollar Baby, and Unforgiven. Perhaps the best title he’s worked on though (wait for it) The Goonies! How hot is that?! We mean just knowing he had a hand in a film that brought us such wonderful things as The Truffle Shuffle, and laughing at a develop mentally disabled and severely neglected abuse victim– that’s golden in our hearts. All kidding aside, we do genuinely love The Goonies, it is in fact golden in our hearts, and we’re also greatly looking forward to another film he’s had his paws on, J. Edgar starring Leonardo Dicaprio. Moving on!
This strapping 46 years young man could be called an Italian Stallion, but that would be weird, so we won’t– is Philip Messina (the one to the right guys!). He is good looking, got a nice smile too, and he’s talented to boot which is always attractive– isn’t it? Messina’s title on The Hunger Games is production designer, and the productions he’s worked on are both big and small, including such films as Traffic; The Sixth Sense, all the Ocean’s 11 films, Erin Brockovich, Solaris, 8 Mile (yes the 8 Mile theme is now stuck in our heads, thank you), Out of Sight, Mermaids, (anyone who’s never seen this film needs to Netflix it now, it’s got Christina Ricci at age nine and Michael Schoeffling, aka Jake Ryan from Sixteen Candles in it), and best of all, the cherry on top so to speak, the cult series Freaks and Geeks. You have to agree the man’s ability to design productions that resonate and stay with us for decades (think Sixth Sense, people. Also, for some of us… Traffic, Solaris, Out of Sight and Mermaids), is something special, and you have to admit that it’s certifiably hot as well.
We could go on, but the list goes on and on a bit, and who could stand the onslaught of all that mature hotness?! Think of it this way, it only gets better after these two talented men, or perhaps just think we’re saving the best for last. Until then, let us relish in the most porn-y photo we could find including a Hunger Games cast member. Hold onto your hats, if you’re wearing one that is!
Them There Eyes