Girl Crushes R’ Us

We love Jennifer Lawrence and so do most of you! It wasn’t any surprise to see her at the top of Crushable’s 25 Crushable Girls Under 25. We have a certified girl crush. As in “I’m not attracted to girls but I would make some exceptions for Jennifer Lawrence.”

Hello, Flawless!

Maybe it’s because she’s young and super talented and the star of the franchise, but Jennifer seems to get all the crushability votes, but she isn’t the only totally crushable lady on set!

Today, we’re going break down some OTHER Crushable ladies of The Hunger Games (of legal age, because we occasionally try to be politically correct.)

Elizabeth Banks – This woman is the Original Girl Crush (OGC, what what) that you never knew you had! From her older roles in Wet Hot American Summer and The 40-Year-Old Virgin, to bigger roles in Zack and Miri Make a Porno and Man on a Ledge, to ingenious characters on TV shows like Scrubs and 30 Rock— we love all of her roles! When this lady is on screen, you pay attention. She demands it. Off-screen, she’s super upbeat. What’s NOT to love?

Paula Malcomson – Mrs. Everdeen isn’t the easiest character to have warm, fuzzy feelings for, but anyone who has ever seen Deadwood or Sons of Anarchy knows that Paula Malcomson is actually a badass chick! The gun-wielding, man-trampling, take-no-shit-from-no-one part of our heart will always love her for that. Also, she is smokin’ hot for a woman of her age.

Still one of our fave Jackie photos!

Jackie Emerson – Yes, she’s 18! She’s also one of the most positive, endearing spirits in The Hunger Games universe. She spreads love, works with multiple charities, and sticks up for girl friendship and girl crushes worldwide! The first part of every good girl crush is that the person makes you totally smile, so that’s why Jackie makes the list.

Leven Rambin – Glimmer comes off as a bit silly and boy-crazy in The Hunger Games movie, but we accept it because Leven Rambin is pretty adorable as she fawns over Cato the Mass Murder. It’s twisted, satirical in a way, but also a short burst of amusement that you need from time-to-time in a heavy story like The Hunger Games. And that little smirk of hers? Totally crushable!

Don’t let the boys get all the attention for being the likable ones! These ladies are wonderful examples for bringing solid characters to life and using their star power to be awesome, which makes them some of the most crush-worthy people out there, in our opinion!

Eat Your Heart Out, Boys!
The Girl With The Pearl

The Worst of Hunger Games Premiere Fashion!

OMG, SO MANY SEXY PEOPLE WEARING BEAUTIFUL CLOTHING!

Seriously guys, our Hunger Games actors are a bunch of fly-lookin’ motherfuckers. There are so many shots of them looking fabulous in outfits that we could never pull off in a million years that we can’t stand it. It’s kind of ruining our self-esteem. Therefore, we’re going to make ourselves feel a little better by noting the WORST premiere fashions we’ve seen so far.

Before everything gets all “OH NO YOU DIN’T make a joke about my favorite superstar who doesn’t even know I exist yet I feel the need to fiercely defend them by trolling you”, remember this: WE LOVE THESE PEOPLE. We kid because we love! In fact, if ever we attended a red carpet event, we fully expect the actors to laugh at anything we wear… and our faces.

Jennifer Lawrence

Dear Jen–
Your legs are fabulous, you look devilishly sexy in red, but you’re taking this Mockingjay thing way too seriously. And this is coming from a fan who supported the nipple swirl dress.

Josh Hutcherson

Dear Josh–
Nice going with the brown suit. It looks great on you. Not so much for the beige sweater vest. My grandfather promises not to press any charges against you for stealing it out of his closet as long as you return it by the end of the week!

Liam Hemsworth

Dear Liam–
Is that… crushed velvet? *gigglesnort* We… We can’t. We have lost the ability to can. We’re going to give you the benefit of a doubt and assume you didn’t pick that out yourself. So honestly, who told you that would look amazing? We’re pretty sure they were trolling you!

Elizabeth Banks

Dear Elizabeth–
In our minds, you are the clear winner in the Hunger Games Premiere style tour de force. So many vivid colors and bold styles! Just one question. Our great aunt’s couch: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO IT? Added glitter and sewed it into a dress, apparently.

Woody Harrelson

Dear Woody–
Catching Fire is more than likely filming in Hawaii. You probably own a house in Hawaii or at least vacation there often, being all rich and famous as you are. Save the Hawaiian shirts for then! Not that we expect you to listen, because you’re Woody Harrelson and you really don’t care what we think.
P.S. Your wife is totally not the red carpet attention-seeking type and we think that’s ADORABLE!

Miley Cyrus

Dear Miley–
You’re not a Hunger Games actor, but we’ve always been on board the “Miley Cyrus is going to be around the fandom a lot so give her a chance” train. Then you show up to the premiere in a midriff-bearing lace bustier. The train has crashed. You have failed us.

What do you think? Were there other fashions the stars wore that you thought were worse than these? Which were your faves?

Either way, they still look better than we would in those outfits!

Now I’m Going to Eat a Pint of Ice Cream For Breakfast and Feel Bad About Myself,
The Girl With The Pearl

Casting complaints, STILL?!

In a recent interview, Elizabeth Banks, when asked about The Hunger Games and her portrayal of Effie, has remarked that Suzanne Collins “sort of blessed the whole process”.

So why are people still worried?

Goddess Suzanne Collins herself

Since pretty much the casting phase of The Hunger Games, we’ve known that Suzanne Collins was quite involved with the making of this movie. She was consulted with casting and has co-written the screenplay, not to mention that she insisted on being on set for certain key scenes.

Sure, we’ve been burned before my book-to-movie adaptations (man, if we were ever alone with Steve Kloves in a dark alley), and sure, the movies aren’t going to contain every single detail in the books. But it worries us to see that still there are fans who haven’t accepted members of the Hunger Games cast. Just today we saw a graphic going around about not accepting Josh Hutcherson as Peeta, 75 days before the movie is set to come out.

Still Peeta, even if he were bright purple and had wings

The cast may not be exactly like how you pictured, but everyone imagines things differently when they’re reading. They can’t get it right FOR EVERYONE. But if it’s sanctioned by Suzanne Collins, the damn author of these fine books, then we think everyone should have a little faith. Her blessing should be good enough for us. We weren’t there for casting. We weren’t there for filming. We haven’t seen anything outside of the trailers (from what we’ve seen, we can say it’s look pretty damn good). So who’s to say so-and-so will be terrible?

If you still can’t accept that Josh Hutcherson is Peeta, well that’s just TOO DAMN BAD. The movie has already been made, and there’s no going back. Josh Hutcherson IS Peeta. Elizabeth Banks IS Effie Trinket. Lenny Kravitz IS Cinna. Blessed by goddess Suzanne Collins herself. We all need to put on our Big Boy/Girl Pants and suck it up because that’s just the way it is. You can go about it two ways: accept it or never see the movies. The former option is what we’re advocating. The latter option is, well, sad.

Shouldn’t her blessing enough for everyone?
Twiffidy

Apologies to Our Idiot Brother

The Hunger Games is a fantastic thing. But like an old friend who has developed some awkward anti-social tendencies over the years, every now and then it turns out to be a real pain in the ass, even when it doesn’t mean to be. Every now and then, The Hunger Games and its fans have to stop and say “Okay, our bad!”

THIS ONE.

Specifically, The Hunger Games owes Elizabeth Banks and the rest of the people behind Our Idiot Brother an apology.

Elizabeth Banks is our Effie Trinket. She’s also an actress who has taken on several different roles over the course of her career. Surely, we remember some roles as being more epic than others, but her entire filmography is very impressive. Fans seem to get stuck to the idea that Elizabeth’s main concern is Effie Trinket when really, her job is about playing a diverse range of characters successfully and looking DAMN GOOD while doing it.

We won’t see the film until March and we’re beyond biased, but the massive Hunger Games fandom thinks Effie will be her biggest and best role yet. However, in between filming and the release of The Hunger Games, Elizabeth has been busy promoting her newest flick, Our Idiot Brother. It has a fairly epic cast of its own, it’s getting largely positive reviews, and the trailer makes me smile (which is really all that matters). Unfortunately, Elizabeth hasn’t been able to promote it in peace.

According to Elizabeth, she’s getting all sorts of questions about The Hunger Games at press junkets and conferences that should be focusing solely on the potential awesomeness of Our Idiot Brother. We’re obviously not a REAL part of the entertainment media (though if anyone wanted to hire us, we’ll take it!), but we feel indirectly responsible for this complete change of subject during an important time for Elizabeth and her new film.

Perhaps a little TOO excited..

You see, we The Hunger Games fans are just REALLY EXCITED. And since we are really excited and there’s lots of us, the entertainment media gets really excited too because they know it’s a topic that will sell like hotcakes! I’m sure half of them have never even read The Hunger Games. They just know it will get them hits. And it does! We respond like crazy! And so the vicious cycle continues..

Good thing for those talk shows were you can specifically request certain subjects be avoided, eh? Or the hosts are just clueless. Either way.

To make up for it, we’re going to promote Our Idiot Brother to the Hunger Games fans! Elizabeth Banks, Paul Rudd, Zooey Deschanel, and Rashida Jones. Seriously, what’s NOT to love?!

FEAST YOUR EYES ON THE TRAILER:

We’re excited about Our Idiot Brother too! It looks funny and touching and hip! ..But seriously, you better rock Effie next spring.

Now Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Hunger Games,
The Girl With The Pearl

Let the Games Get Sexy!

Filmmakers know what their audiences want to see, people! We fans may think we know what we want to see (read: a Hunger Games movie that’s as similar to the book as possible,) but we don’t have a clue what we really want!

If the rumor mills are correct (and they probably aren’t!), the movie gods have spoken. Here’s what we want to see, whether we know it or not: SEXY!

Totally what you should (not) expect!

That’s right. We’re talking Hunger Games: Sex Bomb Edition.

The initial reaction was absolute panic and lots of fans forgetting to letting their heads cool before saying things like “WAIT.. DOES THAT MEAN THEY’RE PUTTING IN A SEX SCENE?!“

NO. That’s not what it means, young grasshopper. In fact, if a sex scene somehow makes it into this movie, I will let everyone who suggested it would happen split my life savings (which is currently around $700. Stop judging me.. I’ve got student loans to pay, man!)

The reaction from fans has been shaky at best. Most of us are old enough to enjoy “sexy”.. though some more thoroughly than others ifyaknowwhatI’msayin’, but there’s one problem: The Hunger Games was not made to be sexy.

Thought-provoking, action-packed, political, maybe even a little violent, but in a way that makes viewers think about the consequences of violence. That’s some pretty deep shiz!

Basically, The Hunger Games is feeling intellectual and badass until SEXY walks into the picture, beats it up and steals its lunch money. For shame!

The Hunger Games needs to be protected from sexy and its devious ways of ruining perfectly good story lines. Therefore, we’ve come up with a few guidelines about what kind of sexy Hunger Games fans want to see:

A match made in fandom heaven!

Not Accpetable: A Katniss/Gale romance
We’ve already gotten word that the role of Gale has been beefed up, but please don’t turn Liam Hemsworth into THG’s beefcake; the Taylor Lautner of Panem, if you will. Gale has feelings for Katniss, but at best, Katniss is conflicted about her feelings toward Gale. But the character stands for a lot more than his rocky love life. If Gale’s new role is sucking face with Katniss in tight cotton t-shirts, we lose the awkward magic that is his journey over the course of the trilogy.

Acceptable: A Peeta/Gale romance
Want your movie to be edgy? How’s this for a plot twist? Then we’d finally understand why Gale hates Peeta so much after he proclaims his unwavering love for one Miss Katniss Everdeen!

Not Acceptable: Katniss Everdeen mostly naked
There are quite a few times that Katniss takes off some of her clothes and bathes in a spring or stream during the 74th Annual Hunger Games. We already know that Jennifer Lawrence looks too good to be real, but let’s not cheapen her natural babeosity with shots of her softly caressing her bare arms and legs while strategically-placed rocks cover her naughty bits.

Acceptable: Peeta Mellark mostly naked (and cleaning his wounds)
Flesh wounds make almost ANY amount of nudity okay! Sure, Josh Hutcherson may be in his skivvies by the stream, but there’s also a giant gash filled with pus erupting off his leg. Nudity ÷ blood poisoning = Non-issue. Plus, wounds are sexy, right?

Not Acceptable: Sexy Haymitch Abernathy
We find out in Catching Fire that Haymitch was actually quite the looker back in the second Quarter Quell, but his looks nor his personality are faring so well these days. Woody Harrelson has charisma by the gallon, but let’s not get too caught up in that and try to make Haymitch into the sexy older mentor instead of the sad, paunchy drunk.

I will NOT give in to your perfect abs, dammit!

Acceptable: Sexier Effie Trinket
Elizabeth Banks is a great actress. She’s also really good at looking really good. I totally didn’t see those paparazzi pictures of her as Effie that are still lingering around the internet (Get on that, Lionsgate!)… but if I did, I’d notice that they totally do not do Elizabeth or the ornate Capitol sensibilities justice. Yes, her fascinator would make the royal family proud, but can we get her some neon green dresses and platform stiletto heels? Plzkthx!

Not Acceptable: Cato/Clove
Fandom has a way of bending plots: Any two characters who show the least bit of interest in each others’ well-being are a couple. So is the story of Cato and Clove to many fans, but hopefully not to the filmmakers. I would love to see these actors make out in any other movie. Isabelle Fuhrman is gorgeous and fierce and if this were Twilight, Alexander Ludwig and his washboard abs would be forced to do the whole movie shirtless. But in The Hunger Games, Cato and Clove are sadistic douchebags who use each other for convenience and kill a lot of people along the way. And we love them that way!

We’re trusting these movie execs with the fate of our favorite series. The LEAST they could do is adhere to these requests, right?

Got any sexy moments to add to the list, acceptable or not? Sound off in the comments below!

Only we would write this much about a rumor that’s almost definitely fake,
The Girl With The Pearl