Look, we get it. Waiting for an anticipated movie trailer sucks. Waiting for a Hunger Games trailer is perhaps even worse because Lionsgate is obsessed with keeping it sooper sekret right up until the day of release, whenever the high hell that may be.
But seriously guys, stick a fork in us… because we’re done.
THE OBSESSIVE TRAILER TALK IS TOO FREAKING MUCH.
It started off pretty chill with the Age of Ultron rumors. Someone said the Mockingjay Part 2 trailer would come out in front of Marvel’s surefire smash, which was easy to believe because regardless of whether it’s true or not, Lionsgate would be straight up idiotic is they DIDN’T do this. LG’s upcoming release Age of Adaline was also named as a potential suitor for the trailer. Then somebody asked Lionsgate and they denied it all, and the people who are new to this rodeo actually believe Lionsgate’s denial without question. Hint, folks! LIONSGATE NEVER TELLS THEIR FANS ANYTHING UNTIL MAYBE A COUPLE DAYS IN ADVANCE, IF WE’RE LUCKY. They deny all rumors straight up to that point. Don’t know why they think this method is useful, but they do it anyway!
Then somebody confirmed with a source that the trailer isn’t happening until summer, while somebody else confirmed with a source that the trailer IS indeed coming with Age of Ultron/Age of Adaline. THE AGES, if you will. All these sources, by the way, tend to be movie theater employees. So someone in there is completely fucking clueless and just making answers up.
And somebody in South America has now posted a trailer list for Age of Ultron without a Mockingjay Part 2 trailer on there, so now we’re supposedly meant to believe that the rest of world isn’t getting it either because that one theater isn’t with that one particular film? Because all theaters always show the same things internationally and trailers never end up under codes names and these lists never change, right?!
Then the superfans and even some fansites (though most have wised up to this by now) are posting and retweeting and commenting on every. freaking. rumor. Sometimes we’re pretty sure they just want to sound like they’re in the know. It’s enough to make us want to tune out any mention of the trailer.
Look, we honestly don’t know whether the trailer is coming with Age of Ultron or not. We don’t believe any of you on either side anymore. You know when we’ll know? WHEN IT HAPPENS. And all this constant, rampant speculation ain’t gonna make it happen any faster.
So let’s try some patience, okay guys? We know it’s new to everyone, but it’s time.
Sorry, Temporarily Possessed By The Spirit of Lewis Black This Time,
The Girl With The Pearl