Mockingjay Part 1 Lulz: Rolling Dad Commentary

I had a completely different post planned for today, but then something spectacular happened. I watched the Mockingjay Part 1 DVD with my dad.

emma-stone-excited

See, my dad likes the series but is by no means an expert. He probably hasn’t watched Catching Fire since last spring and missed Mockingjay Part 1 in theaters, so this was his first viewing. Also, my dad is pretty big on personal commentary whenever he watches a movie from the comfort of his own couch and his attention skills are not the best.

So today, inspired by “Things My Husband Says During Outlander” (if you watch that series, READ THESE! They’re way funnier.) I decided to write down a few of the gems and share them with you. Because I’m pretty sure everyone know someone who does this!

PSH:
“Oh wow, he’s in this? How much is he in this?”

White rose:
“What the hell does that mean?

2581126223637204660bpdvmTncSnow gets cut while shaving:
“Yeah, now you got it coming, ya bastard.”

“I wonder where Peeta bread is?”

Dream sequence:
“Wow. She is actually a lot taller than him.”

Negotiation scene:
“I’m not sure why the critics made this movie not sound so good. I’m already sure it’s a lot better than the critics made it sound.”

Effie:
“Wait… she’s bald. Is she bald?”

Gale:
“Now is that one Chris? I can never tell.”

Looking at Cinna’s Mockingjay sketches:
“Wait, who’s dead? The bird?”

Propo filming:
“Heh heh. This is just like being in the movies. Except you’re bad!”

Haymitch and Effie eye lock:
“You gotta like them two, anyway.”

Beetee:
“Oh he can’t walk anymore, huh? … I need a refresher.”

Arrows:
“It’s funny how she never runs out of arrows.”

“The red ones must be very expensive.”
*looks at my redhead mother*
“You cost me a lot of freakin’ money all the time.”

“Don’t expect much chit chat, he’s an Avox”:
“An Avox? What does that mean? Is he some sort of asshole?”

“He must be on a puree diet.”

Shooting at Capitol bombers:
“Pretty boy can’t make the shot.”

2-mockingjay30f-1-web

District 7:
“How the hell do they climb the trees so fast?!”

Hunting
“What is that? A horse? An elk. It could be a deer, but it’s got the hairy neck. An elk.”

“That ain’t right. You ain’t gonna cheat on Peeta bread, are you? Poor Peeta.”

Katniss/Gale kiss:
*aggravated moan*

Attack on the dam
“Trying to figure out what’s happening here.. Oh, oh! That there is gonna get blown up!”

“Mmm hmm Mr. President.. your time is getting short!”

The Attack on 13:
“District 13 had all this stuff [weapons, defenses, etc] all that damn time?!”

“What’s with all the water? Are they (District 13) purposefully trying to kill everybody?”

The hatch shown in the Crazy Cat scene: “Hey look! They got portable water!”

The Rescue:
“I don’t think this is gonna work out well. I have a funny feeling. We’ve setting up for the next movie.”

“Urgh.. he’s probably already dead.”

Other victors: “Wait.. they were in there too? Where did they all come from?”

The End
*Peeta’s back stiffens*
“Uh oh.”
*Peeta attacks*
“Uh oh!”

“Wow. He really has gone cuckoo.”

At Least He’s Team Peeta, Amirite?
The Girl With The Pearl

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4 comments

  1. This is my mother to a T. Amazingly my dad guesses through everything & has figured out the ending! (without having ever read the books; has seen each movie once).

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