Friday the DVD and Blu-ray editions of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire are being released in the US and Canada, which means a lot of us are not leaving the confines of our homes this weekend. Why? Because we’ll be glued to our respective television sets, absorbing what we’ve all hopefully already viewed a handful of times in movie theatres. Me? I’ll be like everyone else probably, inconsolable and re-watching Peeta and Katniss’ last scene together until he attempts to choke her to death in Mockingjay: Part 1. It’s going to be an emotional weekend, and just for kicks and giggles, I’ve come up with a list of things we should all do, or have on hand whilst partaking of the emotional roller coaster that is The Hunger Games: Catching Fire.
First off I highly recommend getting comfortable. That means if you’re a lady person, lose the bra, and put on some pajama pants, perhaps some ridiculously comfy socks, and forget about washing your hair– who cares, no one can see you anyway! And if anybody can see you, they should already know that The Hunger Games is not something they’re allowed to judge you on, therefore clean hair isn’t something for them to get their panties into a twist about, ‘kay? You may want to continue to wear deodorant though, just to keep the yelling at bay.
Stock up on tissues, I think two boxes will suffice unless of course you’re the type who cries during diaper commercials. And, yep– because you’ll be crying so much, and using all those tissues you’re going to get dehydrated therefore you must have a hydration station at the ready. Stock your fridge with water, I’m going to go buy a bunch of mineral water and lemons for myself, and just go to town crying my ass off, and drinking bubbles and tartness that I know won’t add any weight to my ass at all. However if you’re like every other person in North America you’ll probably stock up on less healthful carbonated beverages. I beg of you though that you drink more than soda this weekend, I hate for your dentists to look in your mouths weeks or months from now and proclaim that you’ve got cavities in all your teeth.
For the legal adults in the audience I’m now going to suggest other beverages to have on hand. If you’re not obligated to be anywhere, i.e. you have no where to drive to– by all means have a glass of wine or two! Don’t go over the top though, I don’t want to read about some poor Hunger Games t-shirt clad, braless, jammy pants wearing, body of a woman that was found in a pool of their own vomit after bingeing on Stella, or three bottles of wine. ‘Kay just don’t!
Munchies! I mean did you really think I would forget munchies!? Wrong! I suggest an array of salty meats, cheeses, and vegetables. Uh huh, think antipasti platter, only if you hate olives, go with pickled whatever you like, or here’s a thought, sliced fresh veggies! My, green olives stuffed with garlic sounds mighty tasty right about now, also fresh cucumbers, and red, yellow, or orange Bell Pepper, the green ones have no flavor. Cheese, if you’re feeling low-brow, and like American Cheese in all its artificial orange, salty glory, by all means have some! But even Effie Trinket would make faces at you, so try something a bit more um– real, I mean not even Katniss has access to that stuff. So imagine Peeta using American Cheese in his cheese buns, and then gag with me! Or, perhaps you’re not up for all the work of arranging food stuffs semi artfully on a plate, in that case order pizza and call it a successful weekend. Food snobbery done, moving on!
Have your Smart Phone at the ready, perhaps a laptop, or iPad. Why? Because live tweeting on Twitter, and live blogging your marathoning on Tumblr whilst watching all the extras and bonus features, along with finally rewatching the film– well, it’s going to happen, so may as well have everything fully charged so you can share all the feels with the Internets, and you’re friends, maybe you’re mom. Just do it, you know you want to.
Take breaks y’all, remember you can hit pause now and go to the bathroom without missing a damn thing!
Them There Eyes