Ever see something simple and innocent that your mind melds into a ridiculous idea?
That’s what happened earlier this week when Them There Eyes wrote about Mockingjay screenwriter Danny Strong writing a screen adaptation of the musical Guys and Dolls, I saw “Mockingjay” and “musical” and wondered.. What would THAT be like?
ICYMI, there is a legit Hunger Games musical out there that played during Victory Tour (though sadly, it was never staged in front of an audience). It was of a serious storytelling nature, but let’s face facts: If we did a musical, it would not be serious. It would be a parody, ridiculous and borderline nonsensical.
In that spirit, we introduced the track list for MOCKINGJAY: THE MUSICAL!
“I Just Have These Feelings, OKAY?!” – Katniss Everdeen
Angsty and angry, Katniss is getting all of her feelings about recent events out in the open. And to hell with anyone who doesn’t like it!
“Down in District 13” – President Coin and the District 13 Residents
In which President Coin lets that District 12 refugees know how things roll in District 13. Talks of the pox and Coin’s shout of “I AM THE LAW!” included.
“F*#% Sober” – Haymitch Abernathy
The chronicles of Haymitch trying anything and everything to not be sober once District 13 takes away his alcohol. Antics ensue!
“Propo Panache” – Group Ensemble
Both in District 13 and The Capitol, propos shoot back and forth across the airwaves. District 8! Katniss! Finnick’s big admission! Peeta under duress! Beetee’s hacking! It’s all here.
“This is the Bomb (Shelter)” – Primrose Everdeen
While staying safe from attacks above, Prim tells Katniss all about her love for the District 13 life and dreams of becoming a doctor. There’s a crazy cat breakdown, naturally!
“How Tight Are My Pants? (The Capitol Rescue)” – Gale Hawthorne, Boggs
Inspired by the only bit of filming we’ve seen so far, Gale and Boggs kick ass in the Capitol while singing a badass duet about how the right clothes make or break a rescue mission.
“Hijacked!” – Peeta Mellark
Seeing it for Katniss POV is shocking, but we’ve gonna let Peeta get everyone up to speed on his hijacking and explain his state of mind. Because he thinks he’s right, dammit!
“A Kick in The Nut” – Katniss Everdeen, Gale Hawthorne, Lyme
Taking down District 2’s defenses isn’t as easy as in seems! As the plan unfolds, these three characters sing about what its destruction means for Panem and for them personally. Who’s doubting what now?!
“Real or Not Real?” – Peeta Mellark and Star Squad 451
The Star Squad is in the Capitol and soon, Peeta is with them! Time to chronicle his slow climb back to sanity, complete with Katniss’ discomfort, guessing games, the “You’re a painter, you’re a baker” spell and general distrust all around!
“WELL THIS WAS UNEXPECTED.” – Star Squad 451 Ensemble
Pods, mutts, sewers, and faux fur panties are the focal point of this long, zany tune from the moment the first pod goes off all the way to Capitol Square. Because you can’t focus too hard on the crying moments in a parody.
“Arrows of Fury” – Katniss Everdeen, Gale Hawthorne, President Snow
It’s time to confront Gale, confront Snow, and REALLY confront Coin as Katniss tries to come to terms with Prim’s death and finally unleashes those feelings out on the world.
“(Prim)Roses” – Katniss Everdeen, Peeta Mellark
This song starts during Katniss’ isolation in the Capitol, follows her into District 12, and finally hits its crescendo when she finally reunites with mostly cured Peeta. The two then recap their tale and decide that shit can’t possibly get any worse. Time to lead a semi-positive life, maybe?
This Is Why We’re Not Playwrights,
The Girl With The Pearl