Five Months and Counting

If my mathematics are correct, which as a mathematically inept individual is something you should not put any real stock into at all, the alleged epic eight month plus Mockingjay Part I and II shoot will be starting in roughly five months time. Which means, wholly mother of god they have more than a handful of new cast members to cast, locations to scout, secure, permits, blah blah, costumes to design as well as make, special effects to design, sets to be built, just– so much stuff guys, and in very little time for an action packed, highly emotional war film. And, oh my, and they are right now, as I type in fact, in the midst of post-production on Catching Fire, yes that’s assuming that the editors have no lives, and stay in on Friday nights. So, yeah– who now has anxiety bi-proxy? Well I sure do! I may need a paper bag to breathe into in a few sentences, or two.

I know a few people were skeptical when it was announced many months ago that Mockingjay was being split into two films. Hell, I know I was a bit taken aback, and sadly jumped to the conclusion that the the studio was only going along with the trend set by Harry Potter and The Twilight Saga. However, then I remembered what actually happened in Mockingjay, and I came to the conclusion that splitting the story in two was necessary to keeping the integrity of the story intact. You know what we always complain about, right? That details get left out, well— if our dear Mockingjay being split in halves is any indication– these two films may turn out to be the most accurate adaptations in the entire franchise. Yeah, if they don’t add things like giant ice cyborgs from Mars, or something. Kidding, the giant ice cyborgs will be from the Rings of Saturn– ’cause they’re made of ice.

And now I will freak out, and get all anxious about one aspect of the making of the next two films! You’ve all heard the phrase “location, location, location”, right? Okay, that’s what’s been hammering inside my head since before rumors surfaced that the locations that could be used for the final installments are allegedly Boston, Atlanta, and Los Angeles. Why am I anxious though? ‘Cause of a little itty-bitty thing called District 2. Yep, that place

Oh, hey there Vasquez Rocks. You've been used in everything!

Oh, hey there Vasquez Rocks. You’ve been used in everything!

where Enobaria, Brutus, Cato, and the little knife wielding girl Clove were from. See, according to the description of District 2 in the novels, the surrounding Boston area, the Great State of Georgia, and the greater Los Angeles metro area do not look a thing like District 2. Where is District 2 located then? Well, I’m glad you asked, oh voice that is not here, and I swear I’m not mentally ill (promise), District 2 is located in the Rocky Mountains, which is a large mountain chain that spans from British Columbia, Canada, to New Mexico in the Southern US. So, if the location scouts for both films decide that District 2 looks like the photo to the right? I’m gonna be pissed. Sure, this location is less than a few hours drive from Los Angeles, thus it being used in countless productions, including Star Trek (2009), a recent aged person medication commercial, the original Star Trek series, and my own personal favorite, the WB’s Roswell— it’s not going to cut it, nuh uh– not even a little bit. I know, I know– I should stop being a little up-start, and cease being paranoid, but I can’t help it.

Areas I’d be reluctantly at peace with them using for District 2: Big Bear Mountain, which is in Southern California, or– hey, cough up the rock, and book locations in Canada. Where I’d ideally want them to film District 2? Colorado, of course. However most selfishly, I say my own home state of Oregon, because it has the film infrastructure to accommodate a mount_hood_portland_oregon-1280x9601large production like Mockingjay I and II, as we have several television shows in production here nearly year round, like Portlandia, and NBC’s Grimm, as well as an active feature film industry spanning from independent films like Meek’s Cut Off, to studio films like Twilight, and The Road. Oh, it also has rocky, and mountainous locations within an hours drive of a large metro area (Portland), quarries within said cities limits (because District 2 is the masonry district), and we also have major tax incentives that come with shooting in Oregon as well. I mean, check us out, we’re not Lumberjacks with beards anymore, we’re Vancouver, BC South, and you don’t have to exchange your money, or flash a passport– we also have better coffee, doughnuts shaped like everything you can imagine, world class restaurants, hotels, and no sales tax.

That’s it, that’s my bid for Mockingjay I and II! I know it’ll never happen, you don’t have to tell me twice. 

Them There Eyes

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2 comments

  1. Your Oregon campaign has my enthusiastic support! I mean, here in Portland, even our streets share the names of HG characters…Hawthorne, of course, and Primrose, and, uh…Abernethy, which, you know, is ALMOST the same as Abernathy, right?

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