The Capitol Portraits have been arriving all week and we are in OVERLOAD MODE! Rather than only dedicate a skimpy paragraph to each in a typical post, we’re going old school!
For those of you who only discovered the site recently, we occasionally like to team up and BREAK IT DOWN for our audience, chat style! It’s long (hence the “Read More” tag! Click it!) and meticulous and hilariously ridiculous! Enjoy the party!
EFFIE MCQUEEN OF GENOVIA
The Girl With The Pearl: Okay ladies, let’s start with Effie!
Them There Eyes: I think they’ve upped the ante, and this was just our first taste of how far they’re potentially going.
TGWTP: Here’s my only hesitation: Is too much of one color a bad thing?
Them There Eyes: I don’t think it’s too much color at all! She’s supposed to clash, and pop, and other sounds.
Twiffidy: Yeah, too much color is very Capitol anyway.
TGWTP: I love that she’s got a regal gown with frilly but awesome shoes and SPACEMAN GLOVES!
Them There Eyes: I also love the clash of how soft her hair, shoes, and dress are in contrast to the gauntlet rings.
Twiffidy: This gave me flashbacks of when I went to the Alexander McQueen exhibit at the Met when I was in New York a couple of years ago.
Them There Eyes: I am in such hard like with Alexander McQueen… I’ve been looking at his work for years and going “Capitol, Capitol, Capitol.”
TGWTP: Alexander McQueen is the official designer of Effie Trinket. Which would technically make her totally vintage!
Them There Eyes: I know… her shoes were McQueen last year! And I’ve been pinning heelless shoes to my Panem themed pin board on Pinterest for months….. when I saw those shoes I flipped the fuck out, ’cause I’ve pinned several similar versions by McQueen.
Twiffidy: And these heelless shoes were A-MA-ZING!
TGWTP: Elizabeth Banks could wear a potato sack and look good, but Alexander McQueen definitely helps. I want to test that potato sack theory someday, though. I say that about these actors, but I need to see them in potato sacks!
Twiffidy: And I don’t know if those are bracelets or part of the glove, but I like that contrasting color, it helps break it up so there isn’t too much of the pink. And Elizabeth’s pose is perfect, very charm school with the crossed ankles.
Them There Eyes: Yes, very poised… polite, queenly. I’ve seen gloves like that before in my mother’s knitting books, they have sort of bells on them… or petals like a flower. And her pose makes me think of that sequence in the Princess Diaries.
Twiffidy: Haha yes! Very Princess Diaries! I’m waiting for her to tell Katniss to do the “Thank you for being here” wave.
TGWTP: There’s a reason that Effie always gets released first. The image demands your attention!
Twiffidy: Oh my gosh, yes… They do like to release her early!
A LITTLE LESS KARL LAGERFELD, A LITTLE MORE BARBIE
The Girl With The Pearl: Speaking of demanding attention, what do we think about Caesar?
Twiffidy: Funny story, I showed this to my friend and he did not even realize Caesar had a ponytail in the first movie
Them There Eyes: His hair still makes me think of one of my My Little Ponies. Her name was Rattles.
TGWTP: Well, it’s a high ponytail this time around. Caesar and Barbie now have something in common!
Twiffidy: Haha… a little less Karl Lagerfeld, a little more Barbie.
Them There Eyes: At least it doesn’t remind me of Michael Bolton anymore!
TGWTP: At first glance, I thought his hair was shaved off on the sides and I got really distressed!
Twiffidy: Did you notice his eyebrows look a little purple-y?
Them There Eyes: Yeah, they’re violet. He was already one of the more extremely styled people they had, but still it’s up a notch or two, which is what I was craving.
Twiffidy: I’m glad they stuck with the textured suit idea from the first movie and then elevated it.
TGWTP: Caesar is basically a 5-year-old’s hair color experiment.
Them There Eyes: Kool-Aid!
Them There Eyes: Great. Now the Kool-Aid guy is going to come crashing in here saying “Ohhhh yeaaahhh!”
EXPERIMENTAL SEX CLUBS IN THE MATRIX
TGWTP: Then let’s run to the next victim! *cough* I mean, subject! Cinna!
Twiffidy: My male friend said he wants Cinna’s boots.
Them There Eyes: If they wanted to scream rebel in our faces, but in a sexy way…. they’ve achieved that affect.
TGWTP: I know Cinna is not very Capitol and quite understated, but I still wanted MORE. His jacket has that emperor effect, so I appreciate that.
Twiffidy: But I think the gold eye liner is still there, which is reassuring.
TGWTP: It is, which makes it okay for him to be in all black.
Them There Eyes: Why all leather though?
TGWTP: No idea! Does anyone else think the tight leather sleeves make his arms look like toothpicks?
Twiffidy: This gives me such a Matrix vibe, especially with the green background.
Them There Eyes: Yes, that’s what I was trying to grasp onto… Matrix!
TGWTP: Seriously! I’m expecting Neo and Trinity any minute now!
Them There Eyes: He looks like Morpheus’ baby brother! I’ll say this… I’m glad they got rid of the medallion necklace. He has the gold hoops in his ear, and one ring on… His accessories are set in my eyes now. But…. do we think he looks a little sex club-y?
Twiffidy: Just the forearms.
Them There Eyes: Just the arms are sex club worthy? Wow… Up your game, Cinna!
TGWTP: It could happen. Cinna could be the quiet type who actually spends all his nights getting his freak on in peculiar places.
Them There Eyes: I smell a fan-fic!
Twiffidy: Be careful what you wish for!
Click below to read the entire post!
HAYMITCH HAS TO PEE!
TGWTP: And what about our dear Haymitch?
Them There Eyes: He’s the same, but better.
Twiffidy: Ombre is very in right now, so I guess this is vintage too?
Them There Eyes: I only ever see ladies wearing Ombre though… Maybe in a few centuries, men prefer it?
Twiffidy: You never know.
TGWTP: His face is the perfect mixture of “Refusing to answer questions during an interrogation” and “REALLY having to go to the bathroom.”
Them There Eyes: He does look like he has to pee, and that he’d rather not talk to who’s ever forced him into that chair.
Twiffidy: This is a little less put together than his look in the previous movie, which might ease the minds of some more adherent to Haymitch of the books.
Them There Eyes: Yeah, it’s not quite the vomit-y t-shirts of the novels, but it’s much less Capitol than they had him dressed even on the train after the Reaping. That being said, I like his shoes.
TGWTP: Well, at least there’s that! haha.
Them There Eyes: Wait, is his shirt Ombre too!?
Them There Eyes: Oooh, match-y, match-y.
THE MOCKINGJAY AVOIDS FLASHING US, GETS POOP IN HER HAIR
TGWTP: Moving down the line, here’s the big one! Zee Mockingjay, yay or nay?!
Them There Eyes: You cannot beat that skirt!
Twiffidy: I don’t want to assume but I can’t see anything topping this.
Them There Eyes: And to anyone complaining about her not sitting… you cannot sit in a skirt like that, you just can’t, unless it’s designed for sitting like Jennifer’s Oscar dress.
TGWTP: I love the haute couture construction on the top of the dress that creates the Mockingjay frame. GENIUS!
Twiffidy: Seriously, even if she could sit in it physically, it would look terrible.
TGWTP: I think her not sitting was meant to be a statement, as well! She’s not going to sit down and do what they tell her.
Them There Eyes: Yes, it’s a statement of defiance and strength… and you might be able to see her underwear.
Twiffidy: Yes, very much a statement.
Them There Eyes: And not “Oh my god, I can’t sit in this fucking skirt!”
TGWTP: Also… ENTER THE WHITE ROSE!
Them There Eyes: The presence of Snow.
Twiffidy: Seeing it in her hand is really haunting.
TGWTP: It’s no coincidence that she’s holding it down to the ground, almost trying to keep it away from herself.
Them There Eyes: Or she was told to do that to preserve the flower. Having a flower’s bloom facing downward after being cut helps keep it alive longer.
Twiffidy: Her make up is so otherworldly.
TGWTP: Not gonna lie though. “I think she has bird poop in her hair” DID briefly cross my mind. Because I am seven, apparently.
Twiffidy: I’m still trying to figure out what that is.
Them There Eyes: Same… Could be feathers?
Twiffidy: I mean, that’s my best guess.
TGWTP: But they don’t look fluffy.
Twiffidy: But I’m not sure how they’re even on there.
Them There Eyes: Could be on a headband?
TGWTP: This will probably drive me crazy until November. Not gonna lie!
BEETEE STOLE OUR GLASSES
TGWTP: Next up, the Fan-site Exclusive, Beetee!
Twiffidy: He looks like Courtney’s dad.
TGWTP: LOL! How so? The face, the demeanor?
Twiffidy: The face, he has a mustache, and wears glasses, and has very similar skin tone, and hair.
Them There Eyes: Well, we know who he can go as for Halloween in 2014!
TGWTP: Back to Beetee, I didn’t notice until someone pointed it out in our comments, but ZOMG HIS SUIT LOOKS LIKE A COMPUTER CHIP!
Them There Eyes: Yes! And his tie is like coiled wires! The details… The details in this one are absolutely astounding.
Twiffidy: I have to say, when he was cast I knew that throwing on a pair of smart looking glasses would make him the Beetee in my head!
Them There Eyes: Speaking of glasses…. he’s wearing mine
TGWTP: He stole your glasses?!
Them There Eyes: Yes… no…. yes! I have very very similar frames. Can we talk about the punk/metal vibe his costume is giving off?!
TGWTP: It’s kind of great. Badass nerds are basically my favorite people (and fictional characters) in existence.
Twiffidy: Yes, the skinny pants with those boots, a lot funkier than I was expecting, but very well executed.
Them There Eyes: He could totally hang with the cast of Hackers.
TGWTP: I’d allow it!
Them There Eyes: Anyway… I love how the top half of the suit is all business, and then you scan down and it’s like “Ba-bam! Zippers and biker boots!”
TGWTP: It’s the rebellion. It’s on his pants.
INTERIOR DESIGN WITH JOHANNA MASON
TGWTP: Okay, I know we’ve already touched upon this in yesterday’s post, but… OH, JOHANNA!
Twiffidy: Girl is FABULOUS! The details in that dress!
Them There Eyes: Girl… I screamed.
TGWTP: She looks like bitchy royalty. As she very well should.
Them There Eyes: Yes!
Twiffidy: Her posture is great too! Totally bitchy royalty. And I get almost a Cleopatra vibe from her too.
TGWTP: She looks like she’s about to flick the white rose away like a cigarette butt.
Them There Eyes: She looks like an Edwardian portrait. Like a Romanov who’s like “I am fucking not dying by your hand, Socialists!”
TGWTP: Only Johanna could have such an elegant portrait that screams “Damn the man!”
Them There Eyes: Yes… but again, the details, the details, the details. I thought I was prepared after the details in Beetee’s suit, but this is just above and beyond! I love how her gown is both soft, and rough with the use of the chiffon, and then the layered collar area. It’s absolutely stunning when you look at it.
TGWTP: I like that, even for the interview dress, you see something reminiscent of lumber.
Twiffidy: Yes, I really love this color for Johanna.
Them There Eyes: What would we call it… Dusty peach?
Twiffidy: Sunset sand?
Them There Eyes: Let’s just go pick out some paint chips at Home Depot and get back to this!
WE CAN’T DECIDE IF PEETA WANTS TO KILL YOU OR HAVE SEX WITH YOU
TGWTP: Here’s in easier color to digest. Peeta in all white!
Them There Eyes: Moon boots or Uggs?
TGWTP: Moon Uggs
Them There Eyes: Moon Uggs! I’m in love with his abstract tuxedo jacket.
TGWTP: The jacket is great, but I have a personal vendetta against turtlenecks. I just want to reach in and FIX HIS COLLAR.
Twiffidy: The split lapels are tripping me out.
Them There Eyes: Is it a turtle neck… or a cowl neck?
Twiffidy: A cowl neck.
TGWTP: Either way, it needs fixing!
Them There Eyes: At least we know Peeta or Josh didn’t choose it.
TGWTP: Very true. It’s the only reason I can sleep at night.
Them There Eyes: Can we tell what’s in his jacket pocket yet?
Twiffidy: I wish this was larger so we could tell! It looks like a bottle merged into a pocket square.
Them There Eyes: I’m going with metallic pocket square and… Is he wearing gold cuff bracelets? Pocket squares made of metallic fabric?
TGWTP: I think pocket squares are a definite possibility. It looks like a bottle, but why would Peeta have a bottle?
Them There Eyes: Some say it’s a token from Haymitch. Okay…. facial expression!
Twiffidy: Lol his facial expression is classic Josh.
Them There Eyes: He’s the first guy to look square at us too. I mean, first guy in this campaign. I hope your fiance has looked you in the face, Kait!
TGWTP: Occasionally, he manages! Peeta looks like he’s trying to tell the Capitol audiences where to shove it.
Them There Eyes: Yeah or… “I will have sex with all of you.”
TGWTP: He has what Flynn Rider refers to as “The Smoulder”
Them There Eyes: Great, now I’m thinking of Zac Levi.
ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHERS
TGWTP: And then the wild card comes in… Gale!
Them There Eyes: I let out a huge sigh of relief when this came through. I was so worried they were going to style him for the Capitol.
TGWTP: It’s odd that he has a Capitol Portrait, Katniss’ cousin or no, but you can’t leave that character out of any advertising campaigns. I’m glad they didn’t run awry with his image, too!
Twiffidy: I’m torn because I would’ve felt really bad if he was left out, but then logic likes to kick in and I need to suspend disbelief here.
Them There Eyes: Nope… They need to sort of reestablish his character anyway, he was practically forgotten in the 1st film.
Twiffidy: His look works with who Gale is in Catching Fire. He’s an adult that works in the mines, he looks that way to me, might be the shoes.
TGWTP: Yeah. You can tell he’s very reluctant and super jaded.
Twiffidy: Facial expression is definitely troubled.
Them There Eyes: I also like how he’s sort of poised on the edge of the seat like “Okay, I’m putting up with this shit!” And his hand is gripping the rose tight, like he could crush it any moment.
TGWTP: Also, there’s a nice touch in his chair being all torn up.
Them There Eyes: He’s also wearing his Reaping clothes.
TGWTP: Like he’s the only one who hasn’t really moved on! Oooooohhhh I like it!
Twiffidy: Ha! Yes!
Them There Eyes: Nope. Can’t move on… Probably only owns one pair of shoes. And no toothbrush.
TGWTP: Poor Gale’s teeth…
Them There Eyes: Poor slags who end up on the slag heap with him! That’s canon, right?
WHEN FINNICK MET FABIO
TGWTP: Okay. Last but not least! THE DREAD PIRATE FINNICK!
Them There Eyes: Oh my god… I laughed so hard. I was just so surprised that he’s in essentially in a skirt and an open neck top.
Twiffidy: I snuck away at work to look at this and was cracking up and yet was strangely into it.
Them There Eyes: I love it, honestly. It’s creative as fucking hell!
TGWTP: Clearly, Sam stole some costumes from the Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides set. My first thought was “What is this?!” but my second was “I want to touch his chest hair.” I may be a bad person?
Them There Eyes: Well, if that’s not a vote of confidence, I don’t know what is.
Twiffidy: It’s really hinting at his role in the Capitol.
Them There Eyes: Look, anyone who can look good in a silk skirt and an open shirt is golden in my book. You’re right, he’s the Capitol’s eye candy…. and now ours. Sorry Sam!
Twiffidy: I had no idea what I was expecting for Finnick, but the minute I saw this it was perfect to me.
TGWTP: They’re definitely playing it up for The Capitol audiences. He is the sexy pirate from the future trashy romance novels with the Panem equivalent of Fabio on the cover.
Them There Eyes: He’s surpassed Fabio by leaps and bounds. Did anyone ever find Fabio attractive, really?!
Twiffidy: It’s hard to imagine.
TGWTP: Women were just envious of his long, flowing hair.
Them There Eyes: God, imagine if they’d decided to really play up that whole sex god stereo type of yore, and give him hair extensions?
TGWTP: Oh lord, Fabio!Finnick is never leaving my psyche now!
Them There Eyes: Quick, go look at Zac Levi!
Them There Eyes: What? He’s hot.