Josh Hutcherson, P.I.M.P.

We know you were all expecting the big SNL breakdown tonight, but it’s not going down! … Mainly because my DVR glitched and I haven’t seen much passed the opening monologue.

Instead, we’re going to talk about actors at The Golden Globes. No, not Jennifer Lawrence or Phillip Seymour Hoffman! Josh Hutcherson, DUH.

Did you know that Josh Hutcherson is totally pimp? Because gossip columnists sure did after The Golden Globes! He showed up at an after party with not one, but FOUR young actresses, mostly of the teen queen / family television variety.

Observe!

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And one of them was his (rumored!) ex-grilfriend, Vanessa Hudgens! And another, Selena Gomez, just broke up with a pop star! And they were seen HOLDING HANDS (in one paparazzi shot in which Selena is holding Vanessa’s hand on her other side!) *gasps wildly*

SCANDAL, WE SAY!

After all, friends never hold hands! Especially while walking out of a party where they’ve probably been drinking, surrounded by security with multiple camera flashes blinding their every step! They’re totes a new Hollywood item. Common sense? What common sense, says we the gossip media? Clearly, if they’re holding hands, it means Josh Hutcherson and Selena Gomez are having hot, dirty sexytimes.

To make it worse, Josh even gave another actress a ride on his motorcycle the day before! Ladies, if you ride on a motorcycle with a guy— You will get pregnant and YOU WILL DIE. What a player Josh Hutcherson is! He was seen publicly speaking to six females in two days! What indecency!

Just a couple days ago, Sophia Bush shot down rumors that she and Josh were dating after a photo of them hugging appeared in the ‘netz. It must’ve been a statement made to repent for the awful way they led the media to believe it was true love. Again… Physical contact with friends: Crazy shit!

We know that some people just have a lot of friends, some of which may be of the opposite gender. But not famous people! They don’t have friends, just loads of makeout buddies, at the very least! Right? RIGHT?

I Kind Of Want To Be Josh In That Photo (With Different Actors),
The Girl With The Pearl

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11 comments

  1. Bwahahaha! Yes, the dangers of being friendly are well known and well documented by “Free America from Girls and Boys on motorcycles”.

    Do these journalists ever think to themselves that maybe Josh really enjoys women but hasn’t found one worth all the hoopla it would bring?

  2. Why don’t these “adults” understand that boys and girls can be just friends. I’m pretty sure I learned that in 7th grade.

  3. LOL! The “men and women can’t be friends especially if they’re hot and famous” idea seems to be at play in both real life and THG fandom! Re Vanessa being Josh’s “rumored ex”, I guess it depends on if you count her as a girlfriend or not. I do recall an interview where someone asked Josh if they’d ever dated and he gave a reply that wasn’t a direct “yes”, but seemed to be imply they had. Actually, the whole answer, about being alone on a tropical island with an attractive woman, made me think it was more a hormonal hookup type situation, but apparently not something that kept them from being friends afterward.

    Let me also take this opportunity to say, that I do NOT want Josh and Jen to hook up a la Rob and Kiersten. Since it seems even some usually level-headed people in the fandom responded to the news that Jen had broken up with her boyfriend, with the “oh, now that she’s free, wouldn’t it be cool if she got together with Josh?” No, it wouldn’t be cool. It would only be cool if they wound up married with two kids like Katniss and Peeta. If they broke up, or were embroiled in a scandal like Robsten were, it wouldn’t be cool at all. If cynical people decide that they’re just together for the publicity, that (while somewhat ironic) also wouldn’t be cool. Besides, wasn’t Jen also “rumored” to have something going on with Bradley Cooper?

    Now, I understand that Hollywood romantic leads having real-life romances has been going on (often even if one or the other already had a partner, or was even married) for a long time. So I’m not saying that if it DID happen, I’d accuse either Jen or Josh of anything scandalous. BUT, I’m sure nor expecting or hoping it would happen. People have enough time getting this whole fantasy vs. reality thing down, as it is.

    1. Nooooooooo! You are right… Romance between the leads of a franchise spells trouble. Keep it on screen, JenHutch! If you do inadvertently fall in love after declaring vehemently your sibling-like relationship, then save it for Mockingjay 2. That is all. Over and out.

    2. I agree with you on all accounts. Re: Jennifer being “rumored” to have something going on with Bradley, it’s another example of the hilarious tabloid logic. Jennifer split with Nicholas Hoult, and Bradley recently split with Zoe Saldana, so obviously they did it because they hooked up! Never mind that they hadn’t even been around each other for months while Jennifer was filming Catching Fire. But they were seen together at awards shows (alongside Harvey Weinstein, Robert De Niro and the rest of the Silver Linings Playbook cast and crew, but we’ll ignore them) and, according to tabloids, had a dinner together afterwards, and we all know that Dinner = Romantic relationship! As AbelToy (I think) said on IMDB, “wow, after all those awards those two actors won together for their movie, they SHARED A MEAL? Scandalous!” And I bet they’ll be seen together at the Oscars at some point, too! There’s also some conflation of fantasy and reality going on there, as I’ve seen at least one fan state that they are probably together because they have chemistry on screen. But the tabloids probably wouldn’t have come up with that if it weren’t the awards season.

      It does seem to have died down somewhat after both Jen and Bradley have joked about it and shut it down quite decisively, though. Although at least one fan still insisted that it means nothing and that actors will deny a relationship they’re actually having. Be that as it may, I find it hard to believe that a single guy would vehemently deny a relationship he’s actually having with an adult woman by stating that he could be her father, and adding “We’ve made two movies together, if it hasn’t happened, it’s not gonna happen”!

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