We know you were all expecting the big SNL breakdown tonight, but it’s not going down! … Mainly because my DVR glitched and I haven’t seen much passed the opening monologue.
Instead, we’re going to talk about actors at The Golden Globes. No, not Jennifer Lawrence or Phillip Seymour Hoffman! Josh Hutcherson, DUH.
Did you know that Josh Hutcherson is totally pimp? Because gossip columnists sure did after The Golden Globes! He showed up at an after party with not one, but FOUR young actresses, mostly of the teen queen / family television variety.
And one of them was his (rumored!) ex-grilfriend, Vanessa Hudgens! And another, Selena Gomez, just broke up with a pop star! And they were seen HOLDING HANDS (in one paparazzi shot in which Selena is holding Vanessa’s hand on her other side!) *gasps wildly*
SCANDAL, WE SAY!
After all, friends never hold hands! Especially while walking out of a party where they’ve probably been drinking, surrounded by security with multiple camera flashes blinding their every step! They’re totes a new Hollywood item. Common sense? What common sense, says we the gossip media? Clearly, if they’re holding hands, it means Josh Hutcherson and Selena Gomez are having hot, dirty sexytimes.
To make it worse, Josh even gave another actress a ride on his motorcycle the day before! Ladies, if you ride on a motorcycle with a guy— You will get pregnant and YOU WILL DIE. What a player Josh Hutcherson is! He was seen publicly speaking to six females in two days! What indecency!
Just a couple days ago, Sophia Bush shot down rumors that she and Josh were dating after a photo of them hugging appeared in the ‘netz. It must’ve been a statement made to repent for the awful way they led the media to believe it was true love. Again… Physical contact with friends: Crazy shit!
We know that some people just have a lot of friends, some of which may be of the opposite gender. But not famous people! They don’t have friends, just loads of makeout buddies, at the very least! Right? RIGHT?
I Kind Of Want To Be Josh In That Photo (With Different Actors),
The Girl With The Pearl