Liam Hemsworth’s Birthday Haul

Srsly, thx for the smolder

Srsly, thx for the smolder

It’s still before midnight in most parts of the US and we know he’s usually chilling in California these days, so we’ve still got time to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LIAM HEMSWORTH!

At the ripe old age of 23, you’ve manage to accomplish more than most of us will by retirement: a promising career, a steady relationship, worldwide popularity, and as Flynn Rider would say, “the smolder”. Yet you have this soft-spoken bro-ish-ness about you that makes us wish that we at the Victor’s Village (unisex!) frat house could get you in on some kegstand action.

So what do you get the man who has everything he really needs? We thought long and hard over a few helpful glasses of adult refreshments, and this is what we came up with:

Gift Certificate to Steak and Shake – Remember that time Liam talked about how he found Miley sexy while eating Steak and Shake, then the media tried to turn it into a naughty food fetish when really, the guy was trying to express that he loves his girl, even in non-glamorous scenarios? Also, fast food. He DIGS that stuff. Since Catching Fire is done filming and you can gain back some of the weight you lost, eat up, Liam!


Now THIS is commitment!

Full Unicorn Costume – Once upon a time, there was a unicorn head and it was kind of awkward. But we’ve accepted it! Everyone has their *cough* interests. But frankly, ONLY wearing the head was a bit of a cop out. Commit yourself all the way or stay away from the mythical creature references, we say! Therefore, we present Liam with a full-on, mascot style unicorn uniform of hilarity.

Paparazzi-Free Week – Sure, Liam could get this by jetting off to some exclusive locale for a private vacation (which he could do… damn him!) But what about a quiet week in a major U.S. city? One where he could actually leave the house and DO things without being stalked? We know it’s too much to ask, but hey, it’s a pipe dream. Maybe someday, someone can be success and still pump gas without photos of their butt as they lean over the take off the gas cap all over the web!

That Pivotal Role – One thing Jen and Josh have that Liam doesn’t is a universally recognized role, the kind that gets you recognized as a true talent by both fans and critics. Sure, The Last Song and The Hunger Games got him noticed, but they didn’t get him taken seriously as an actor. Looks like there’s a couple of Hemsy films scheduled for release in 2013, one of which has Gary Oldman in it and thus gives us hope, so let’s see how those babies play out.

Booze – We get it for everyone and frankly, it works! As long as you avoid anything with an engine: Cars, jetskis, chainsaws…

Okay guys! What did we miss? Surely, there are some more birthday gifts that Liam Hemsworth desperately needs, he just doesn’t know it yet! Let us know in the comments!

Of Course He’s Probably Back in Australia and We Look Like The Idiots Who Totally Missed His Birthday,
The Girl With The Pearl



  1. What about a basketball and White Castle sliders? That way he can remember when Josh took him to Kentucky, whooped him in a little bball, and then served him a meal that kept on giving. After it came back up.

    (Ewwwww. Gross, I know. But still, a Liam memory that is really…memorable.)

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