Panem TV — Post Mockingjay

Reality TV, it’s not something I imbibe on a regular basis, but the people of Panem, better yet the citizens of The Capitol are addicted to it. The Capitol falls though, we all know this, and their favorite entertainment of the entire year is disbanded forever and ever, and boo hiss say the lot of them. However, as a society that is in fact totally jones-ing for a reality TV hit to the arm, I’m pretty damn sure that in a hypothetical world post Mockingjay they fixed their urges with less, um, shall we say murderous fare?

Let’s think about this for a tick, ‘kay? In a post-Coriolanus-Snow world, as well as a post-Alma-Coin world, I think that with the infrastructure already semi in place, the money, and other resources, Panem wouldn’t, or actually The Capitol wouldn’t sit idly by with nothing on their televisions to watch. We know their favorite kind of programing is reality TV, so I say don’t knock what’s already been proven brings in the masses. But, what kind of reality TV would flicker across the airwaves of Panem? To me at least, I think they’d go for much tamer fare, also because anything too extreme would be against the law– oh yeah, I totally think Panem has censors still very much so in place.

So, what say you to Panem’s Next Top Model? That’s right, Panem’s, not The Capitol’s, but the whole of the country’s new favorite, but equally easily forgotten walking talking mannequin! Each district will be represented of course, perhaps even more than once in a cycle, but the count would be a baker’s dozen of 13: There would also be judges from the Capitol, of course, because what District resident would know a thing about fashion, I mean really? The challenges would include teaching sessions like probably non of the girls (yep, girls–they’re still excluding boys even in this fictional version of Top Model), have ever encountered, run-way, style challenges, things like taking the girls to the worst part of town, and telling them to ask random people for pieces of clothing off their backs, just to make the perfect challenge outfit, can’t kill children anymore– may as well put people in danger of possibly being spit on by an angry random on the street. Also, of course photo shoots, perhaps something as extreme as trekking down the coal mine shafts of the slowly being restored District 12, or fun shoots out in the palm trees of District 4, getting splashed at by Finnick look-alikes whom never fully come into focus in the photos. Who the hell knows, but it will be fabulous, that’s for sure, and for some reason I think Caesar Flickerman will be one of the judges. There’s no way that man is dead, just no way.

Reality TV was the opiate of the people, I honestly doubt they’d be able to go cold-turkey after 75 years of that tar being pumped into their veins, let it be girls traipsing about making faces at the camera, than kids letting out war cries and hacking each other to pieces.

Besides, we all know that teenage and 20 something girls are vicious enough as it it.


Them There Eyes



  1. What a horrible idea. Katniss wrecked herself and many gave their lives – just so people could rot their minds watching mindless crud! Hopefully the people of New Panem could find better things to do with their sweetly won freedom!

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