If there’s one thing I learned during the gamut of press The Hunger Games received last March, it’s that a large portion of the media do not do their homework. Now, I’m not saying that flippantly, I’m stating a true fact here, and if you’re a regular, or a long standing reader of this site’s, then you can attest to the almost innumerable times we’ve pointed out just how idiotic the press can be where it comes to The Hunger Games. So, why the fuck am I writing about this phenomena again?! Simple– I really really really hope that after last March that they’ve all gone to Hunger Games school, and will stop dropping gems like, “The Hunger Games is a story about a bunch of kids who are forced to fight over food.” I kid you not, I heard an Entertainment Tonight presenter say that, and it’s scarred me. So, by a unicorn’s chance in hell, if an entertainment news presenter, or writer reads this– this is for you.
Hunger Games School: What You Need To Know Before November, 2013
- They’re not fighting over food– it’s not a giant food fight, I promise.
- If the person you’re speaking to isn’t Josh Hutcherson, Sam Claflin, Jennifer Lawrence, Woody Harrelson, Liam Hemsworth, or possibly Lenny Kravitz– no one who read the books, with a healthy point of view, had crushes on their characters, because they’re not main characters, and people did not emotionally invest in them, except to possibly hate them, feel sorry for them, or wish they were their grandma.
- It’s pronounced Peet-uh. And, no– it’s not Peter pronounced like on The Family Guy. Peeta’s a baker– his name is like the flat bread, or the chips you buy for too much money at Whole Foods.
- Please for the love of god, no one likes it when you use the phrase “love triangle”, in fact even the actors kind of hate it, so just don’t use it, maybe ask about character arc, or motivation, back-story, things like that– actor-y stuff is good, we like that stuff, and so do the actors.
- We don’t care about Miley.
- It’s not “the new ___ insert name of popular series __” If you want to compare it to something, talk about reality TV of today, as well as possibly the numerous war conflicts happening or in the recent past, as well as regimes that engage in elitism, and oppression of their citizens, ex. Syria. Other examples. Egypt, Tunisia, Darfur, and Iran.
- There is no “Team Gale” or “Team Peeta”, I do not care how many people are wearing t-shirts that sport these so-called teams– but no one with an iota of respect for them selves or the characters they’re supposedly on an imaginary sports team for, would be on their bloody sports team, so don’t talk about them, because you look and sound like a dumb-ass if you do.
- It would really help if you read the books– honest. You could even get them in audio format, put them on your ipod, and listen to them at the gym, or in the car.
All right little doggies, if you can’t wrap your brains around all of that by November, 2013– you’re hopeless.
Them There Eyes