No Escapades Outside Acting Together, Please!

Alexander Ludwig Hunger Games The Aristocrats funny

We’d rather see this than stars canoodling! It makes us happier anyway!

Today’s article comes straight from the latest pop paparazzi confections to sprinkle the headlines! It not because we actually follow that junk, just because Twitter will not allow us to NOT SEE these headlines.

Basically, Kristen Stewart finally admitted to her relationship with Robert Pattinson publicly after cheating on him with her Snow White and the Huntsman director and apologizing in a fashion that makes us think she should fire her entire PR team. Further details to be found somewhere else on the Internet. We’re not here to rag on Kristen or Rob or any of that jazz, we’re just using this as an example of something that happens often when fans blur the line between fiction and reality (because frankly, plenty fans can’t tell the difference.)

Why do we care? Something happened with the Twilight community. In short, IT EXPLODED.

And don’t get all high and mighty and judge them! The same thing would have happened in any fandom, including The Hunger Games fandom, if we spent the majority of our time correlating the relationship between two characters with the actors’ relationship IN REAL LIFE. If somehow tomorrow, we got a pretty good inkling that Jen and Josh were together, then they broke up (even amicably!) just before the release of Mockingjay Part 2, we imagine the fandom reaction would be something like this:
“OH DEAR GOD WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? THEY’RE KATNISS AND PEETA! THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY BUT NOW EVERYTHING HURTS! I’M MELTING! WHAT A CRUEL, CRUEL WORLD! ANTICIPATING THE MOST AWKWARD PRESS TOUR EVER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!1!11!!1”

Which is why we simply want to make this plea now:
Dear Hunger Games stars,
PLEASE NEVER, EVER DATE EACH OTHER.

Apparently the Teen Wolf look is in?

Because Jen, Josh, and Liam may be Katniss, Peeta, and Gale, but we know they’re not really because they’re not a mess of romantic attachments offstage. Last we checked (let’s guess 24.73 days ago), Jennifer Lawrence was dating longtime boyfriend Nick Hoult, Liam Hemsworth put a ring on Miley Cyrus, and Josh Hutcherson is kinda-sorta dating someone but it was probably just a rumor because we’re guessing he’s just too pimp for that. Ten points to Josh… Now shave your damn sideburns!

ANYWAY, aside from the momentary sideburn distraction, knowing that The Hunger Games actors are busy spending their time with OTHER people is good. It breaks the illusion that the especially twisted fans brew up. You know, the one in which the actors actually are the characters. Hard to keep that up when Joult or Miam shows up on a red carpet, isn’t it? And yes, we ARE buying into ultra-cheesy celebrity couple nicknames today! Glad you noticed!

Of course, this doesn’t just apply to the main three. There will be a lot of fresh blood on set come Catching Fire, some of which is of the young, unmarried, and totally dateable variety. Just look at Jena Malone. DAAAAYUMMMM! We haven’t got a confirmed Finnick yet, but we have faith in Lionsgate’s ability to make him look delicious. The Catching Fire set will pretty much be TEMPTATION ISLAND, except with less sleazeballs.

Like a 10th grade health teacher who’s kind of afraid of her students, we’re going to politely insist that you “Resist your urges!” Not only can it be a super messy career move in some cases, it brings out the crazy in the fandom. And when that happens, nobody wins! Plus, if you are caught making out next to the food service table, we’ll point and giggle from our safe little corner of the Internet.

We May Be Making Up This Alternate Universe In Which Josh Hutcherson is a Badass Ladies Man BUT WE LIKE IT,
The Girl With The Pearl

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4 comments

  1. LOL, I love your signoff. I don’t know if I’d go quite so far as to call him a ladykiller either, but I do think he has absolutely no interest in a serious dating relationship right now. Which is quite appropriate, given his age.

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