Starting Rumors: Catching Fire Edition

OH, RUMORS! You just won’t go away, will you?! No one’s willing to confirm anything, so you just sneak right in there and steal our hopes and dreams like candy from a baby!

We’ve told you not to trust the rumors before, but when we see them from well respected sites like Variety, we still WANT to believe them even though, deep down, we know better.

We’ve already covered the rollercoaster of emotion that is casting rumors. At this point, we’re over it. You know why? Because we’ve realized that ANYONE can start a movie rumor… and we’re going to take advantage of that!

awful jerry curl white guy

When we say “serious jerry curl”, we mean THIS serious!

Presenting, New and Improved Casting News You Can Only Find on Victor’s Village!

  • Now that Melissa Leo’s out for Mags, we’d like to reinstate the rumor that Cicely Tyson is up for the role, because that rumor was better.
  • Beetee is still a toss-up between Tony Shaloub and Michael Emerson, who is trying to find a way to film around that ridiculous show of his that nobody watches.
  • The “Sam C.” everyone is always talking about is not Sam Claflin. It’s Sam Cushion, aka District Tribute, the fandom musician extraordinaire! He was originally hired to do the soundtrack work, but he became a strong contender for Finnick after Lionsgate realized how awesome he is.
  • The minor tributes in Catching Fire shall be played by many of the minor tributes from The Hunger Games, all Benjamin-Buttoned to look older and juuuuust slightly different. The audience digs familiarity, after all.
  • We have Plutarch Heavensbee’s defining look for the film! In order to portray him properly Phillip Seymour Hoffman will be rocking some SERIOUS jerry curl!
  • Lionsgate has realized that silly things like “age appropriateness” and “talent” don’t mean anything, so they’re working hard to hire talentless supermodels for all the currently uncasted characters. Fan service goes a long way! Just look at Twilight!
  • Lionsgate is finally going to stop pushing the love story angle, focus on the war and hardship angle, and effectively turn Katniss Everdeen into the really neurotic blend of Lara Croft and Rambo that fanboys wet themselves over.

There you go! While we’re at it, what rumors would YOU like to start about Catching Fire?

Hell, Just Call ME Johanna Mason Because Then My Fangirl Dreamz Will Be True!
The Girl With The Pearl

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7 comments

  1. Thank you, Johanna Mason, for this incredible amount of info you have provided us with regarding Catching Fire. These days, it’s quite stunning to see what other, usually reliable sources throw into the mix just to get noticed. But thank you for finally giving us all the right details. I am a happy little Tribute now.

    And also, I have been cast as Annie Cresta. But don’t tell that to anyone yet. 😉

  2. I slapped my leg and chortled when I read the line about Sam Cushion, not Sam Claflin! You will be fabulous as Johanna and I can’t wait to see Dayo and Amandla aged up in new roles!

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