The Mockingjay Effect

Oh, splits! They can be be tough, but usually it’s for the best. They can also be pretty damn delicious. It’s all based on the context, really!

The Mockingjay Split has been debated quite thoroughly, so that’s not what we’re here to do today. If you want to hear lots of solid opinions of the split, just listen to tonight’s episode of Hunger Games Fireside Chat.

Baked Alaska Mockingjay Split

It would look like this, but BETTER.

We made a joke about creating a “Mockingjay Split” desert in response to Savanna saying that it sounded like one. Since we can’t cook, we can’t really come up with an edible recipe on the spot. BUT we have decided that it would basically be a banana split tucked between cake and ice cream with a meringue coating like a Baked Alaska because then we could light it on fire!

ANYWAY… It’s not the split itself that’s got us thinking. It’s this article from the LA Times that questions how easy it’s going to be for the films to meet their deadlines.

Think of Catching Fire:
“Wow! Twenty months to film, edit, and create a beautiful finished product!”
“J/K! Four months to film!”
“And btw, we need a new director.”
We got the new guy! Now let’s start pre-production way late.”
“Also, casting is apparently gonna keep going until right down to the buzzer. Enjoy!”

Like most movies that get split up, we imagine that Lionsgate is going to want to film Mockingjay all at once. And here’s where their very smart hiring of talented, sought-out actors with fruitful careers comes back to bite them in the ass.

Filming both parts of Mockingjay in all its action-y glory will probably take 10 months to a year. Problem is, Jen is contracted for a third X-Men movie, Josh is contracted for a third Journey movie, and Liam may be contracted for The Expendables 3 (unless his character is the one to die, which we’re cruelly hoping is the case.) All of those contracts would have been signed before The Hunger Games and thus would take precedent. As we’ve mentioned before, dishonoring them would be career suicide. They’ll find a way for Liam, as both The Hunger Games and The Expendables are Lionsgate properties. Josh’s schedule can be worked around to a point, but Jennifer Lawrence IS the movie.

By giving themselves a relatively short time to get everything done, the studio has put the series in a seriously tight squeeze. Unless the cast is all miraculously obligation-free and available and they begin shooting Mockingjay early next summer, they’ll be rushing around like chickens with their heads cut off… AGAIN.

Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique X-Men First Class makeup process

Because why can’t Katniss look like this?!

So what can the studio do to make sure that Mockingjay films within a relatively sane time period? We’ve got some ideas!

  1. Film the D13 or Capitol scenes in England (where X-Men is filmed) and have Katniss develop a condition in which she happens to turn blue when she’s depressed, so Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t even have to wipe off all her Mystique makeup as she runs back and forth between sets

  2. Cast Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as Boggs so that he and Josh Hutcherson can “prep” for Journey 3 during their downtime. Or compare tattoos. Whatever.

  3. Hire the cast of The Expendables to play background soldiers working with Gale. Film them on a green screen set and thus make Mockingjay and The Expendables 3 at the same time

  4. Hold all of the actors hostage in between shooting so that they have no choice but to ignore their other obligations.

  5. Before filming starts, hold large dinner gatherings with the cast and line the food with some addictive (preferably non-lethal) substance. Claim that it came from a VERY exclusive caterer and they can only get it again if they find a way to work out their schedules and film Mockingjay during your designated time frame.

  6. Bribe the bejesus out of Fox 2000 and/or Warner Bros. to ensure that they don’t interfere with filming.

Or, you know.. for the love of everything, START FILMING EARLY AND AVOID A TOTAL DEBACLE!

Just Take Lots of Time and Make It Good, Capice?
The Girl With The Pearl

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